Friday, December 14, 2012 —
RALEIGH – The weather outside is hardly frightful, and there is no need for a fire that is delightful, but it is that time of year again.
Yes, it is time to check over who, among the political honchos of North Carolina, has been naughty and who has been nice and devise a little list of Christmas goodies.
So, without further ado, here are my gift-giving suggestions for the season.
For Gov. Beverly Perdue, as she prepares to leave office, an all-expense paid tour of the great parks of America – Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, the Great Smoky Mountains and that newest one atop a high hill in Raleigh. Word has it that the Raleigh park will be a great place to look down upon the North Carolina General Assembly.
For Gov.-elect Pat McCrory, a new house. Oh, that’s right, he kind of gets one of those with the new job. OK … a new car. Oh yeah, he’ll get one of those too, probably a dark-colored SUV driven by Highway Patrol troopers. Hmmm. What to get the person who has everything? Of course, a gift card. Let’s just make sure that it doesn’t involve a retailer who sells out of a spacious warehouse or that specializes in casual field jackets.
For outgoing Lt. Gov. Walter Dalton, the latest toy from the makers of Silly Putty, “Sticky Mud.” This product, amazingly enough, sticks to whatever it is thrown at, even Teflon-coated political opponents who portray themselves as post-partisan, practical problem-solvers from economically vibrant Southern cities. The container for “Sticky Mud” includes a secret compartment filled with enough campaign cash to make up for even the biggest disparities in fundraising.
For House Speaker Thom Tillis, who is believed to have aspirations of taking on U.S. Sen. Kay Hagan in 2014, a copy of the recently unearthed and previously unknown memoir from the late Jesse Helms, “Beating Jim Hunt, Befriending Bono and Other Tales of the Politically Astounding.” Tillis will want to pay particular attention to the chapter entitled, “Where’s My Chief of Staff?” He can probably safely ignore the chapter, “Just Say No and No and No and No.”
For Senate leader Phil Berger, the latest life-like robot made by Mattel, “Whipping Boy.” A special custom model, designed to look and sound like Gov. Beverly Perdue, will provide hours of fun for Berger as he rails against her every word and move, months after the real Perdue is far removed from Raleigh. Berger will particularly enjoy the programmed responses each time a question is posed to the Whipping Boy. They include, “Because I’m governor,” and “Where’s My Red Veto Stamp?”
Finally, for North Carolina voters, a year or more of relative peace from campaign commercials and cable TV pundits trying to turn every election into the most important election ever and every candidate into a saint or villain.
Opinion
Related Photos
-
Scott Mooneyham
Discussion
Searching through Santa’s bag of goodies
- Opinion
-
-
Editorial: Seizure of AP phone records insult to independent press
This amounts to spying on an American news organization -- common practice in dictatorships but scary conduct in a democratic system that prizes the public value of an independent watchdog press.
-
Google shuts down SMS search, angers people who had forgotten it existed
Instead of texting back search results, Google responds with a short message noting that the service "has been shutdown" (sic) and that you can continue to search the Web by visiting google.com (duh).
-
Walking by Faith
Last week I wrote about waiting on the Lord. I really needed to hear from the Lord, but all I was receiving was “wait.” I really don’t like to wait, but it is important to give God the opportunity to work things out before we proceed. After we wait on God, the next thing we are going to be asked to do is to walk by faith. That means that God is only going to reveal one step at a time, which is almost as much fun as “wait.”
-
Jettie Parker
Jettie Frick Parker, 89, of Albemarle died at 2 a.m. Friday, May 3, 2013, in Trinity Place, Albemarle.
-
Always Learning
I am teaching a class this semester that I haven’t taught in over a dozen years. Although I have taught it before, it still has a feeling of being new. The curriculum has been updated, and I must spend a good bit of time reviewing and preparing for the lesson each day. It doesn’t surprise me that often that I will come across something I didn’t know. The other day I made a big fuss about learning something new. The kids had a good time with that; their teacher learned something new.
-
West of Memphis: My Favorite Documentary Gets a New Partner
I saw “Paradise Lost: The Child Murders of Robin Hood Hills” when it played in theaters in 1996. At some point during the viewing, it became my favorite documentary. A position it has held for nearly 20 years. I own a copy of it, along with the two sequels “(Paradise Lost 2: Revelations” and “Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory).” Many know part of the story told in the films; it is a story that everyone should witness.
-
Childhood bullying linked to adult psychological disorders
A significant study from Duke provides the best evidence we’ve had thus far that bullying in childhood is linked to a higher risk of psychological disorders in adulthood. The results came as a surprise to the research team.
-
Saturday night with ‘The Rocketman’ Elton John
The Grateful Dead had its Deadheads.
Jimmy Buffett has his Parrotheads.
I guess Elton John has his … Eltonites? -
Spring Cleaning
Last week during spring break I spent a lot of time catching up on my sleep. My wife and I also worked on a number of different projects around the house. Today I headed back to work and can reflect back on a productive week around the house. While there are other things that we wished we could have gotten done, we both feel good about the progress we made around here.
-
Oz the Great and Powerful: A Prequel to a Classic
I am a fan of Sam Raimi, the director of “Oz the Great and Powerful.” Chances are you have seen some of his work, even if you did not realize it. He directed all three of the first “Spider-Man” series, the ones with Tobey MaGuire as Peter Parker/Spidey. In 2009, he directed one of my favorite horror movies of the last two decades: “Drag Me to Hell.” I know the title sounds strange, but it is one of the best PG-13 horror films ever. It was my choice in 2010 for my annual Scary Movie Night that happens the weekend before Halloween every year: all my guests were quite pleased with the selection.
- More Opinion Headlines
-
Editorial: Seizure of AP phone records insult to independent press
